How to Keep the Sexual Spark When Your Relationship Is in a Rut

The longer you’re in a serious long-term relationship, it’s not uncommon for things to fall into a routine. Although this routine may become comfortable, inevitable even, it can lead to a sharp decline in sexual desire within the relationship. And even though you may not think this is happening with you and your partner, there are many warning signs and indicators of a sexual rut. Some of the most obvious clues include the following:

  • Sex is infrequent or not occurring at all
  • Sex has become routine
  • Only one partner consistently initiates sex

At the beginning of a relationship, you’re in the glorious honeymoon phase and can’t keep your hands off of each other. This phase typically lasts between 6 months to a year, and this heightened infatuation can disguise itself as long-lasting desire. In order to maintain (or rekindle) the sexual spark in your relationship, it’ll take some effort and reflection. Here are some things you can do to help!

Break the Pattern

Are you always in the same position during sex? Do you notice you only have sex at a certain time of the day? It’s time to break the consistency in your sex life before you both lose interest altogether. Take time together to discuss and explore new sex positions and kinky things you’d like to try in the bedroom. They may even just be sexual fantasies that you hope to someday fulfill with one another. Have morning sex right before heading out the door for work to really keep things interesting. Once you throw the predictability out the door, you’ll open a new one to more exciting experiences.

Experiment With Your Own Sexuality

It’s way easier to have enjoyable sex if you know what you like in bed. And, unfortunately, it’s not likely that another partner can teach you everything you’d like. Experimenting with your own sexuality will give you the confidence you need in the bedroom. Try some new things to add pleasure to your week on your own, like wearing lingerie with (or without) your partner or reading an erotic book. The more you get in tune with your sexuality, the better your intimacy will grow with your partner.

Take Note of Your Sex Drive

If you notice that you tend to desire sex less than your partner, it’s important to take a look at why this may be happening. There are many reasons that you may have a low sex drive, and it’s not uncommon at all for a woman to experience this at some point. Things like hormone changes, stress, or medications you’re on can all attribute to this issue. This can also be an indicator that something might be off in your relationship, such as fighting or poor communication. You deserve to crave sex just as much as your partner. Therefore, it’s important to identify if something in your lifestyle needs changing, like reducing stress or communicating more in your relationship. Or determine if you could benefit from alternative options, such as a low libido prescription method or estrogen therapy.

Find a Sex Coach

If you’ve tried everything you can think of to re-spark your sex life, seeking out a sex coach could be a good next step. Sex coaches are helpful for providing insight on how you can overcome any sexual hurdles in your relationship. They offer a safe space to discuss your insecurities and concerns while looking at your relationship from an objective position. To learn more about what a sex coach can do for you and if you’d benefit from having one, go here!

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